Dear: Christopher Nolan

Dear Christopher Nolan,

I shall start with the praises. The first movie that I watched and acknowledged the director/screenwriter was in Inception. It wasn’t Batman Begins in 2005 or Memento from 2000. I’m sorry to say that I didn’t give a fuck to who was directing Batman Begins (though I thought the movie was great) or any other movie. I don’t usually pay attention to who directs what. The only director I knew, before you, was Tim Burton since there was SO much rave about him. You make pieces of art and I’m ashamed to say that I never realized it until Inception.

Inception Poster

You make movies that I want to watch over and over again and I applaud that! There are very few movies I would subject myself to second viewing. I would have watched it in theaters twice, but that summer was a crazy summer and I didn’t get the chance. That would have been something crazy (watching a movie for a second time) since I’m usually a “saver” and I don’t like the thought of wasting money to see something I’ve already seen.

Inception is my baby (technically it’s your baby). I’m crazy about it. You made me care about every single character in that movie. Even freaking Robert Fischer and his bastard dad. You cast everyone to perfection. I was fearful of Mal, but I also loved her and that’s a hard feat to accomplish! I was moved by Cobb’s story and Arthur was captivating. Eames made me laugh and Ariadne took my heart away. The kiss scene was so well-played and it was the perfect piece of comedic relief. I’m ashamed to say that I probably read WAY into that kiss scene and now I think Arthur and Ariadne should get together and have dozens of little Inception-babies.

You cast everyone in Inception to perfection as well. They were the perfect people to play your characters. I had fun watching them and for a moment I forgot that they were only actors and actresses. I went away from the movie wishing SO FREAKING HARD that your world existed and that the characters you made existed. I know your movie was released the summer of 2010, but it’s still on my mind. I can’t help it. That’s how much that I love it. I will always be a fan.

While I do admire your work and I appreciate the lengths that you go to create a movie of this caliber, I have some issues I want to bring up with you. The first point also has to do with Inception. Ugly Skirt-SuitI heard you chose Ellen Page’s wardrobe for Ariadne. First of all, I hate those fucking boots. They’re terrible and she doesn’t look classy at all. I understand that symbolism with the red jacket (since she’s Ariadne and that has to do with Greek culture and her red thread), but that jacket could have been made better. Also, in the second dream level you put her in a hideous skirt-suit. What. The. Hell? That needed improving. Though I hated that you put her hair up in that atrocious bun I realize that it would have been hard to deal with digitizing her hair movement in zero gravity. Also, she’s 5′ 1″, she needs petite clothing because she’s petite. From my point of view the people who tailored her outfits probably didn’t understand that.

Also, great job with casting Heath Ledger in your second Batman film (The Dark Knight), but I really hate how it was so predictable. It is a beautiful film, don’t think that it wasn’t, it was just a tad too crazy and I could sometimes guess what was going to happen next. You should have also tried harder to keep Katie Holmes as Rachel because having Maggie Gyllenhaal as Rachel in the second movie gave me a mindfuck and it drove me batshit crazy. My brain did not agree with the change. Also, the way Maggie was styled made her look really old when Katie Holmes looks very young. So that was just odd.
On a side note, I applaud you for finally making me realize that Maggie Gyllenhaal is Jake Gyllenhaal’s sister. I would have never made the connection if I didn’t watch your movie.

Talking about Rachel brings me to another point. The Dark Knight Rises, WTF! You can’t just throw Selina and Bruce in those few scenes and expect some magical romance to grow out of it. It was possibly way too rushed, though I could see it from the start. There wasn’t enough chemistry and that was disappointing.

NODDING IN HAPPINESSBut Tom Hardy as Bane and Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Blake (SPOILERS!: who is actually Robin… that gave me a mindfuck near the end of the film). I’m just nodding my head in approval like Katy Perry over here. —->
I also loved seeing Marion Cotillard again! 😀 Thanks for that!

Tom Hardy looked so different from how he did in Inception that I could barely recognize him! My brain exploded when I finally realized that Bane’s played by the same guy who played Eames.

A little bit of more research led me to the fact that you LOVE using repeat actors and actresses for your movie characters. I nod my head in approval. It’s a great strategy and you always end up working with great people so why change that?

Robin and BatgirlThis leads me to another point. If you make a Robin Hood spin-off to go with Batman (and you should, you really should) you should cast Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Blake/Robin and Ellen Page as Batgirl. You know… so they can have a proper on-screen romance. I shall show you a gif to show you how perfect they are together. —>  It’s fan made, but it shows my point perfectly. Them on-screen together = love. I will be a very happy girl. So, Christopher Nolan, WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET THEM TOGETHER IN ANOTHER MOVIE?!

If not that, then you should at LEAST cast Ellen Page in your next movie. You know, because she’s awesome and beautiful and all that…

Pretty Ellen Page


2 thoughts on “Dear: Christopher Nolan

  1. Pingback: Joseph G.L. in Playboy | ~{(Ohmo?)}~

  2. Pingback: Google Hangout: My Interview with Steven Spielberg and Joseph Gordon-Levitt | ~{(Ohmo?)}~

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